i wish i was drinking

2003-09-29T23:17:00.000-04:00

lazy

so i've been back in computer hell again. only three days after i got my computer back from the shop, it broke down again with exactly the same problem that i brought it in for. funny how they can never repeat the problem when it's in the shop, but when i open it up right in front of them, it crashes faster than pan am flight whatever. so i told them they were idiots because they couldn't fix the problem, even though i told them what they had to do in the first place. if it weren't for my lack of resources, i suppose i'd fix the damn thing myself. but alas, i am still without my trusty, although much hated, mac.

in the meantime, i've decided that people are getting pretty damn lazy. it's nothing that we didn't know before, but there are just more overt signs of it now. like why in the hell would anyone need to put a motor on a scooter? isn't half the fun of riding a scooter the part where you propel it yourself. how long till they put rocket engines on rollerblades?

you know what the funniest part of this epidemic is though? i don't know how many of you have used the new york thruway system, but the bathrooms in the reststops there are just unbelievable. i pull up to the urinal, do my deed, and as i walk away, a laser sensor flushes for me. then i go over to the sink, move my hands underneath the faucet and the water turns on for me, probably at some federally approved temperature that was deemed 'comfortable' by a multibillion dollar study. then, if i haven't already wiped my hands on my pants, i can go over to the paper towel dispenser, hold out my hands, and a motor will crank out exactly how much paper towel i need. for real! i'm really just waiting for the next innovation, which i assume will be a little robot that undoes my zipper and holds 'it' for me while i go. then i won't have to expend any energy at all. but then again, it is a "rest"stop.

2003-09-11T17:04:00.000-04:00

dammit all! so the reason why i haven't written in the past week or so is simply because my computer blew up. i told this to the guy at the help center, and i knew right from the get-go that he thought i was an idiot about computers. so i had to go into my schpiel about insufficient ram, corrupt sectors, and invalid node responses. he still didn't believe me that i actually had a problem. five hours later, i went back to see him, and he admitted that it had to be sent out for repairs, because he couldn't fix it. ha! i knew i was right, i just wish i could have been right about something else. so now i have a loaner computer and have lost a whole bunch of data on my computer due to reformatting. isn't technology awesome?

so i was in the shower the other day....don't all good stories start like that. it almost gives it a whole pornographic feel right off the bat. but for real, i was in the shower the other day, actually i was getting out of the shower when i made an observation. is it just me, or does everyone else in the world dry themselves off in the same exact pattern every single time they get out of the shower. i never noticed it before, and i couldn't even tell you what order i go in, but when i'm doing it, i know exactly which limb or appendage is going to be dried off next without even having to think about it. every single time! does everyone else do this too? try it out, but don't think too much about it, or else you'll just screw it up by being too conscious about it.

speaking of bathroom observations, i had another one the other day, and this one if for all the guys out there. have you ever walked into someone's bathroom to take a pee and found that they have mirrors right behind the toliet? you can pretty much go without noticing it until after you start to do your deed. then you look up and see yourself in the mirror and are just like...."whoa! hey buddy is that you? gosh, i don't get to see you from this point of view too often. i almost didn't recognize ya!" who puts mirrors above a toilet anyway, and what could their function possibly be except for looking at one's own penis while taking a piss? you got me on this one.

2003-09-03T15:49:00.000-04:00

from the "more random observations" file

so i live right near the corner of main st. in the university heights district of buffalo. it's not the ghetto necessarily, but you do get a lot of strange characters walking around the streets. there's this one old man that i see walking down the street all the time. he's rather unkepmt, but he's always wearing a suit...even in the middle of summer. sure, it might be a little weird that he's always wearing the same suit, even on hot days, but i'm sure that it's probably due to the fact that he can't afford too many new clothes. you know what else i say? "good for him." just because he's poor doesn't mean that he can't dress himself up a little bit if it gives him a little bit more dignity. the one thing that i don't quite understand about him is his walker. he always has bags of groceries tied to the bars. sure, it sounds like a good idea for someone who is old and has problems walking, but he doesn't even use the walker to help him. he just kind of carries it a little above waist height, with all of his bags draping off of it.

along main st. is this little coffeehouse where the alternative types hang out. we have one where the more affluent people hang out, but i don't go there as much. i do try to make it a point to play every week at the open mic night at the first place. sometimes i miss a week or two due to work, but there are these two schizophrenic guys who never miss a week. the first one only has a mild case, and he plays some pretty good beats on this nice african drum he has. the other one has quite a bad case, and he just kinda goes up there and bangs on his banjo or squeezing away on his accordian. aw man, it's absolutely horrible to have to sit and listen to, but i say good for him for getting up there week after week. i just keep wondering what he's hearing when he's up there playing. does he think that he's actually making music up there, or is he aware of the noise that's really coming out? just a thought, but like i said, it's still cool that he gets up there and does his own thing. i can't say the same most of the completely sane people i know.

2003-08-23T01:25:00.000-04:00

don't lose faith in the kindness of strangers

just a little addition that i forgot to make to my last story.

so when we got back to the bottom of the mountain (which i climbed in sandals by the way), we got back into the car to drive away. well we see what we think is a parking ticket on the windshield. turns out that it was a note left there by a stranger. it read:

"you had a flat tire on the right passenger side, so we pumped it up for you. you'll probably want to stop and get it checked out though.

-a friendly passerby"

it just shows to go ya that there are still some people out there that are looking out for other people. i'd like to think that i'm one of those people, but you never really know until you get tested right?

2003-08-18T18:35:00.000-04:00

everyone's getting fat but me, well maybe me too

it's amazing that when you don't have an internet connection or cable at home, you can completely forget that there is an outside world, let alone that you even have a blog to update.

sorry to all.

but back to business, americans are getting pretty damn fat. how do i know this? i heard it on the radio. for real though, on npr the other day, they had a report on how new home scales are going up to 400 pounds instead of 300 because people are getting too damn fat! c'mon people, step on a treadmill or something.

as a nice segue, i can now tell you about my great weekend of great food, great drink, and great friends. remember my mantra...never skimp on any of them.

so friday i took a drive up to u-tica, ny to see my buddy miller. i'm sure i can go on forever about all the stuff we did, but i'm going to try to be as concise as possible. first thing we did was to go to a fancy dinner with his friend emily. now, i have been hearing about how cool this girl is for years, and i now i finally got to meet her. she was just as cool as i could have possibly imagined her.

after dinner and a few drinks, emily suggested that we should just up and climb a mountain the next day. so that's just what we did. we hopped in a car and drove up to the adirondacks to climb blue mountain. following emily's lead, we climbed it at a breakneck pace, and the view at the top was spectacular. we could see forever in all directions.

when we got to the bottom, we decided that we were pretty damn hungry, so we went and bought a whole lot of groceries on our way to an impromtu stay at miller's camp on the lake. we cooked ourselves a fine dinner and then took the canoes on the lake. after our little workout there, we started a fire, roasted some s'mores, and broke into the liquor cabinet. we tried to get a couple people to come up and party with us, but alas, no one wanted to make the drive. it was great with just the three of us though. we spent the night talking and watching "hook" on video.

i spent the next day burning some incerdible music with miller. fourteen albums in all. i got a lot of listening to do in the next couple of days.

this weekend reminded me of a few things though. well actually one big thing. the kind of people for me are the mad ones. mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be save, desirous of everything at the same time. i'll credit jack kerouac with that one, but it just so happens to apply to me too. those kind of people are so hard to find. i was just glad i got to spend some time with some people who were in on the secret too.

2003-07-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

in an effort to spread de good wurd going around the blog community, i will be working to add more links to other blogs that i believe are particularly noteworthy. please take the time to check out these other links, cuz they just might have something good to say.

cheers,
jim

2003-07-28T22:25:00.000-04:00

quote of the day:

from one of my 10 year old patients

"i have a weiner!"
(the entire office staff erupts laughing)
"no, no, not that kind of weiner. a weiner dog!"

2003-07-28T00:46:00.000-04:00

bff

so i was helping a friend of mine move out of her apartment this weekend, when she remarked to me how the amount of people who failed to keep in touch with her when she left school surprised her. she said how sad it was that friends whom she had been very close to, have not spoken to her in over six months. friends who, she thought, would keep in touch with her for a long time. i told her that i don't think it's necessarily sad, it's just a thing that happens.

think of it this way....

count how many friends you have who you can consider really good friends. i mean the kind of friend who you know you will have for the rest of your life. i bet just about everyone can count those kind of friends on one hand. the rest of the friends you make in your lifetime (thousands i'm sure), are only in your life for a given amount of time. it's not that they mean to drop out of your life, but in truth, most of the friends you make are only meant to fulfill a certain niche in your life at a given time. if it were really possible to stay extremely close to that many people, you'd never have enough time nurture all of your other relationships.

and so it goes that you just keep your very best friends around for a lifetime. maybe those other friends aren't as important in the grand scheme of a person's life, but at any given time, it's those people who are helping you get through the daily trials, and hopefully making you a better person for it.

2003-07-21T12:04:00.000-04:00

call me a hopeless romantic, but....

i was on my way to bed the other night, walking all the way through my dark house to my bedroom, when i was reminded of a little metaphor that i had been thinking of. back in my old house, i used to live in a little room in the basement. to get to it, i had to go down some winding stairs, go through another room, and through a cubby hole, until i finally found myself in my bedroom. i used to stay up late, talking on instant messenger or playing on the internet. when it came time to go to bed, i would have to walk all the way to my room in the dark because of the placement of the light switches in the house.

so here’s where the metaphor comes in. whenever i’d walk the path to my room trying to see my way to my bed, i’d always bump into things, stub my toes, or find myself lost in the middle of another room somewhere. but, if i just closed my eyes and let my intuition guide me, i had no problem finding my way down there. my mind knew exactly how many steps i had to go down, how many paces i had to take, and exactly when to turn. only when i tried to out-think my instincts though and tried to use my sense of sight to give the objects around me some tangibility, did i run into problems.

i think the same thing applies to a lot of those people out there who are in relationships. whatever the cause is, we try to overanalyze everything, and try to give our mind power over our hearts. we don’t need to be able to place a name or a motive on everything; sometimes things just happen because that’s the way things happen. if we just close our eyes and let our hearts feel their own way through i don’t think we bump into so many proverbial walls.

2003-07-16T17:20:00.000-04:00

all of the sudden, i realized why i never spend money during the school year. it's because i spend it like it's my job during the summer time. seriously though, i've been spending money hand over fist ever since i finished school. but overall, i think it's a pretty good philosphy. i don't have time to do anything during the school year anyway, with dental school being as hectic as it is. so i save it up all winter long, and when school lets out, i got a bank account that's respectable enough to have a good time for three months or so.

seriously though, if there's one lesson that i've learned from a good friend of mine is that there are a few things in life that you should never skimp on when it comes to money: good food, good drink, and good times with good friends.

so with that in mind, i headed down to the taste of buffalo this weekend with my buddy jack. it's the second largest food festival in the country, behind chicago i think. so anyway, you basically just go down there and buy these tickets for 50 cents apiece. then you just walk up and down main st. where tons of restaurants have booths set up. you use your tickets to try all good food you want, and then go to the restaurants and eat if you liked the food enough. it's just a really good chance to get to sample a lot of different kinds of food that you normally wouldn't try otherwise. needless to say, i spent all of the money i had in my pocket, and had a damn good time doing it.

remember: good food, good drink, and good times

2003-07-08T02:34:00.000-04:00

born on the fourth o' july

all right, so i don't know if i can hold my joy in any longer, so i'm just gonna have to tell everyone about my awesome weekend. really, what better place is there to spend 4th of july weekend than in the big apple? i took a roadtrip down to the long island area with my buddy chris from dental school. when we got there, we were greeted with the overwhelming hospitality of our friend laurie's parents, who graciously go by the names of large and rt. they seriously catered to our every whim and desire while we were there. you want a pina coloda, bam!, you got one.

we spent the fourth outside by the pool (all getting bright red sunburns), and taking out the boat and jet ski. then on the fifth we took the train into manhattan and just spent the whole day there. to anyone who has never been to new york, i can't explain to you just how awesome it can be. we hit up a lot of the normal tourist landmarks to please our canuck friend, drew, who had never been to ny before. i don't like to think of myself as a tourist though. i'm more of a traveller. there's a big difference there.

besides seeing all the sights around the city, i had a goal to get as much good food as possible. so i made a list of about ten things that i had to try before i left the city that night. ny pizza, a pretzel, shaved steak, peanuts, hot dog, a knish, etc. i didn't quite make it, but i came pretty damn close.

being in the city all day though, reaffirmed for me how much i want to end up in a big city like ny or la. i love watching all the people and having all that commerce right at my finger tips. my impatience also makes me fit in quite well there too. so what if you have to push a few people around to get where you're going. chances are they're just tourists anyway and will think that you're just another rude nyc person. ha ha, little do they know i come from the snowy tundra of buffalo.

i hope to have pictures up for everyone soon. i have them downloaded onto my computer from my friend's digital camera, i just have to edit them first to make them smaller. i hope to have pictures from nantucket up too, but miller hasn't gotten those to me yet to upload. maybe if everyone can bombard him with emails, we can get him to send them over. if that doesn't work, we'll try public humiliation.

2003-06-29T14:24:00.000-04:00

panic!!!

wanna know what i think is one of the most useless inventions of our time? the panic button on those keyless entry remotes for cars. i think the rest of those little remote controls are great, but i really don't understand the use of the panic button. really, who uses it? the only time that i have seen anyone use it is if they feel like embarrassing their friend. so what, it makes your car beep and squawk for a little bit. what good does that do? people ignore car alarms when they hear them anyway, so why even bother voluntarily inducing your car to do it? maybe it's a matter of personal safety. if someone attacks you while you're trying to get into your car, you can always press the button and draw attention to yourself. like i said before though, everyone ignores car alarms anyway, and don't you think that you screaming and yelling would be a bit more effective anyway? maybe it's for mute people who can't scream for help. please, if anyone has any clue what the hell these things are good for, don't be afraid to call me an ignorant fool and let me know.

oh my sweet caroline

i don't suppose i've ever used my blog as a way to speak to just one person before, but if you have ever read thru the little comments at the bottom of my entries, you would have seen that i have at least one faithful fan named caroline who is always leaving me little bits of feedback. caroline, how come you never leave me your email address or screenname so i can talk to you? you seem like a cool girl, and you always get to read what i'm thinking, shouldn't i get a chance to pick your brain for a while?

2003-06-23T20:24:00.000-04:00

there once was a man from nantucket....
.....i am that man

so many people may ask where i have been lately. well, there's two answers to that. the first one the hell that i call reality, or the reality i know as hell. either way, it boils down to dental school. the second, and by far more exciting one to talk about, is my roadtrip to nantucket.

so miller gives me a call last thursday night around 1130. he says to me "hey jim, wanna go to nantucket tomorrow?" well hell, i needed a vacation, so i took off first thing friday morning for a nice little road trip with miller. we had no plans, no place to stay, no clue how to get there, but we figured we'd figure that out along the way.

it'd be too long for me to tell you all the stories of things that happened on the trip, but i'll let you in on a few of them. first you should know that we had no rules except for the fact that we were not willing to compromise on our food or alcohol consumption. four meals a day was our plan, and we made sure to succeed at that. miller insisted that it'd be okay to start drinking on the ferry ride over to the island, but i told him that 7 am on a saturday morning was too early to start drinking.

when we got to the island, the first thing we did was to get ourselves some bikes. i don't know any other way to get around nantucket. you got all these rich, yuppie bastards all dressed in their rich, yuppie uniforms and bringing their suv's and land rovers over to the island, but there's so many of them, that half the time, you can get places faster by walking. so miller and i took off by bike to find our hostel. at 24 bucks a night, you can't beat it. the next least expensive place on the island is over a hundred dollars a night. you do the math and tell my why you'd want to stay anywhere else.

so we dropped our stuff off at the hostel and hit the town for our first meal of the day. then we rode across the island to the brewery/winery/distillery for their music festival. well we had no idea that you had to pay for the thing, so we just walked in and started drinking. this hot hippie type girl name sara was letting us sample all the wines. i'm pretty sure she was feeling the game that i was kickin' to her, but miller will try to tell you that she was diggin' on him. don't listen to a word he says. then we went and sampled their beers and proceeded to buy a growler (half a gallon) of beer. by this time we were already drunk, so we either had to stay there all day and finish the beer, or take it home while we still were able to pedal. so off we went, with a growler bungee corded to the back of miller's bike. i believe that qualifies as what the youngin's call "ghetto".

after a quick nap, and the coldest shower i have ever taken (how was i to know that the faucet was backwards?), we went out for another eating and drinking spree. we hit up some dinner, then went to this really fancy joint and sipped some bailey's for a couple of hours, then went and got a couple of desserts, then went out to get ourselves some martinis. did i mention we had to ride our bikes around in the rain while we were doing this?

anyway, i'm sitting here realizing that i'm not doing justice to this whole trip in this entry, so maybe i should stop. track me down and i'll tell you in person. i should also have pics coming soon, just for some added illustration. if i were to sum up the weekend though, it all comes down to eating, drinking, and talking about music and girls with my best friend. really, what else is there life?

so here's to an awesome weekend with the guy that taught me how to live life, flying by the seat of my pants, because there is no better way to do it. cheers!

2003-06-05T01:03:00.000-04:00

killer suv's

ahoy mates! yes i know i have been a tad lax about updating recently, but i assure you that it is only because i have recently changed residences and no longer have internet capabilities. *gasp!* not only that, but i don't even have cable tv anymore. if it weren't for damned summer school, i'd at least be able to catch up on my reading. but alas, as my buddy miller pointed out, there are public computing facilities, and i really have no excuse not to keep this up to date.

but i digress.

so lately my new roommate, dave, and i have been performing at the open mic night at on of our neighborhood coffee houses. two trains of thought have stemmed from this recent development. first of all, i realized that the ability to sing ranks right up there with sundresses and a girl's non-interest in me, that makes me most attracted to them. there is this girl, vera, who performs there. i suppose that she's probably about average looking, but once she gets up there and starts singing, i am inexplicably attracted to her. secondly, this kid jonas played a song that he wrote called "killer suv's". his song was all about environmentalism and stuff like that, but it made me start to think about the term suv. sport utility vehicle. i guess they do have the utility think covered. they are quite useful as far as fitting large amounts of people, goods, migrant workers, etc. into the trunk area, but where does the "sport" part come in? there is nothing sporty about an suv. sports cars are small, suave, and agile. suv's are gigantic, clumsy, and have a turning radius comparable to the diameter of a small planet. i had to drive one around for a whole summer, and i definitely did not take pleasure in it. we might as well just call them bfc's, for big f*in' cars. they're really not much else, and as long as we keep using the abbreviation, we should have no problem slipping it past the censors.

2003-05-20T00:36:00.000-04:00

i probably should be sleeping right now, but it seems that i've come across one of those nights that won't give me rest until i can somehow find a way to articulate what is on my mind. here goes....

it seems to me that i cycle through friends. i don't do it intentionally. i meet people, i form my bonds, and then somewhere, weeks, months, or years down the road, those friends sever those bonds. then i go out and find another group of friends to make my own.

usually i feel pretty bad when this happens. i feel rejected and sad. i wonder what made my "friends" change and not want to be friends with me anymore. that's how i usually end up meeting new people, because i tend to surround myself with others in order to make myself feel better.

sometimes i can see the gradual process taking its course, and sometimes i get blindsided. i had this one group of friends with whom i found myself opening up to. i was feeling very good because i felt accepted. then we all went home for spring break, and when we came back, they all decided to stop talking to me. it seemed like this big conspiracy to ignore jim. the next thing you know, i find myself not getting invited places, and you start to hear little fragments of things that your former "friends" said about you when you weren't there. sure it's third party information, but how else are you going to find out when someone blocks off all direct routes? it makes me feel sad.

it makes me feel sad when i sit at home and wonder why my "friends" had to go change, and why they wanted to leave me behind. then i began to realize something that made me feel better. it would be horrible if everyone stayed the same, and groups of friends never evolved together. it wasn't my "friends" who were changing; it was me who was changing. i was growing, i was learning, and my heart, my insight, and my art were deepening. i never got left behind by anyone. i lost my "friends" because they were unable to grow like i was; i was moving forward, and they were resisting change.

i do have friends who have withstood the tribulations, and who have made it their decision to learn and grow with me. for them i am eternally greatful. i want these people to know how much i appreciate them, but i don't know how to make sure that they all understand. sadly enough, as much as i would like my friends to know my appreciation, i almost want those people who do not make this list to realize that i am better off without them. i'm sad to say that i have inherited that ugly part of human nature, but i assure you that it will pass. life is much too precious and good to spend the effort looking back on the things you left behind.

2003-05-14T13:47:00.000-04:00

online dating and IM game

so it seems to me that there have been a lot of people looking to the internet to find people to date. some people think it's a good thing, and i agree that it does have its advantages, but overall i think it's a step in the wrong direction.

first of all, it keeps people inside, sitting on their asses all day instead of going outside and getting in some good ol' fashioned physical activity. as if america didn't have a problem with an overweight population in the first place, we now have the internet to keep us inside, just in case we can't find anything mind-dulling enough on the boob tube. don't get me wrong, i love the internet (obviously if i'm hosting a blog), but find time every day to get outside and workout. i'm also an IM junkie, but i would never pass up a game of basketball in favor of talking on the internet.

now some people think it's a good idea to meet people over the internet for a couple or reasons. first of all, it removes the hassle of going to some sleazy locale and engaging in the antiquated courting rituals that usually result in nothing worth speaking about. ok, this part i agree with, but i think with the public smoking ban going into effect in ny in june, it will make this ritual much more enjoyable. secondly, people will argue that you can get to know a person for who they really are, instead of being distracted by physical apperances. you can learn all about the person through emails and instant messages, and look through to their inner beauty. yeah.....bullshit!!! man, if you're sitting at home typing emails to some girl, or talking to her over IM, of course you're gonna be at the top of your game. you have forever and a day to respond; you better be able to be clever, funny, and make yourself seem like you possess some kind of intelligence. personally, i like to break out the ol' thesaurus every once in a while just to make it seem like i'm just that loquacious in real life. when you're face to face with a person, that's when you can really get a sense of who they are. that's when you'll find out if they're sarcastic, or if they're quick witted and can hold an intelligent conversation.

so while everyone else is moving toward dating over the internet, i'm still going to be going out around the town to find me a girl to date. in the meantime, i'm just going to keep using the internet for what it was invented for.....porn!

just kidding mom.

2003-05-12T22:03:00.000-04:00

all right, so i tried a little redecorating around the site. i'd be interested in hearing any comments that anyone has. hope ya like the new look, and i'll be spilling my brain soon enough for y'all.

2003-05-09T13:18:00.000-04:00

thank goodness that's over

well, it's official, my first year of dental school is over, and i'm still alive....i think. it has definitely been the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, but one of these days it will be worth all the work.

aaaah! so after that brief hiatus, i can finally get back to my inane commentary on life.

so i'm in the library last night when, in the middle of taking a short bathroom break, when this asian guy walks in on me. now, its not unusual to think that you can share a public bathroom with someone, except that this was one of those "one person only" bathrooms. then he just stood there while i finished up, like i wasn't going to notice him there. this wasn't the first time this has happened though. about two weeks i was in the same bathroom when another asian guy, an old man this time, walked in on me. but this guy didn't just open the door. he karate chopped this door down like he was practicing for the ultimate fighting championship. maybe i need to start carrying a sign around with me that says "hey you, i'm taking a piss in here, so just hang on for a tad. good day."

i have to say though, that in general, at least around the house, i am a proponent of the "open door urination policy". i figure that if i'm living with someone, i'm usually on pretty good terms with them. and as long as i have my back to them when i'm doing the deed, then they're not seeing anything more than if i happened to be standing in front of them in the supermarket. at least this way, you never have to worry about walking in on someone if you happen to forget to knock. see, it saves embarrassment for everyone. when i asked one of my roommates if she minded instituting the policy around our house, she said "no, i don't care. i just think it's rude. would you pee with the door open if your mom was around?" that was an easy one for me to answer, because all i had to say back was "steph, my mom pees with the door open!" that pretty much left her speechless.

ps- don't tell my mom that i told you that she pees with the door open. she'd kill me.

2003-05-05T22:53:00.000-04:00

have no fear devoted fans...jimmy g has not forgotten about you. it's just that it's finals week(s), and i have what i like to call the "i have nine finals in nine days" blues. that'll all be over on friday though, so look for more good stuff to come.

until then...

2003-04-23T10:34:00.000-04:00

must be a quarter life crisis

maybe it's all part of the passage into adulthood, but i think i've just gotten through my first quarter life crisis. first, implying that i'm sure i'll find something else to overdramatize and call another crisis soon enough.

to understand where i'm coming from, you first have to understand my current situation. see, now that i'm in dental school,my friends here tend to be just a few years older, but they all seem to be either married, engaged, or are happily involved in long term relationships. then you throw me into the mix. i haven't had a girlfriend in over four years, and my longest relationship was five and a half months. you want to talk about commitment-ophobia, you look at me.

but seeing my friends all happily situated started to make me feel uneasy, like i was missing out on something, and if i didn't grab onto it soon, it was going to pass me by altogether. so i decided that maybe it was time i find me a girlfriend. well, i found some girls who were definite possibilities, but the same old problems just keep creeping up on me. i have a wandering eye like you wouldn't believe. i would never think about cheating on a girl, but it always leads me into the self-sabotaging mode that keeps me from progressing in relationships.

then i had a bit of a revelation. i'm only 22 years old! here i am, in the prime of my life, and i'm worrying about something that probably shouldn't even be a factor for me. i barely even have time for myself, let alone a steady girlfriend. so i'm going to keep making the most of the single life like i have been for the past four years.

don't get me wrong; if a girl came around who was good for me, i wouldn't deny her. the fact is though, that i can really only think of two girls in my life who i would actually be willing to give up the single life for, and i'm pretty sure neither of them want anything to do with me. oh sweet irony.

2003-04-15T22:33:00.000-04:00

confession

this weekend i went and did something that i've been meaning to do for a long time now: go to confession. now upon talking to some of my non-catholic friends, it seems that a lot of people don't understand why catholics have to go to a priest for confession instead of just going straight to God. frankly i have no clue why we have to do it. as a matter of fact, i can't even be positive that we have to do it, but i'm pretty sure that's the way it goes for us. so anyway, the question is, why go through a middle man instead of taking a direct route? i know the biblical justification for it, but it would just seem easier to go right to the source right? well, as humbling of an experience as it is, i really wouldn't have it any other way. here's why...

first of all, do you know how hard it is to tell a priest everything you've done wrong? all of my friends ask me if i tell him everything that i've done wrong. the answer is yes. "even (fill in the blank)?" yes, even that. so by the time i get up the nerve to actually tell a priest this stuff, i've usually thought about it enough so that i'm feeling really bad about it. secondly, i'm just one of those guys who likes to know things for sure. i don't like leaving situations with even the possibility of something not being resolved. so when the priest tells me that i'm forgiven, i can be sure that i really am. i mean, let's face it, i pray every day, but i haven't had a two way conversation with a burning bush lately, so i can never tell what God is thinking.

but it turned out to be a lot easier than i had anticipated. i thought i was gonna be in there for at least an hour, but the priest didn't exactly have that kind of time, because mass was going to start soon. when i told him that it had been four years since my last confession, he just said "well how about you just tell me the ones that stick out the most in your mind, and i'll just forgive you for the all the rest of them anyway?" hey, sounds good to me! so i was out of there in probably less than ten minutes. it was like speed confession. kinda nice.

the next thing i think they should start is drive thru confession. just pull your car up to the priest's window and spill your guts. hey, if mcdonalds can do it, why can't we?

2003-04-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

have you ever thought it would be a good idea to get really drunk before putting on a concert, and then release that concert as an album? well that's what tom waits did when he released "nighthawks at the diner". a very entertaining album with great songs on it to say the least. here's just a little snippet that i found particularly funny. raise youre hand if it hits a little too close to home :)

“I’ve always kinda been partial to calling myself up on the phone and asking myself out. Well, one thing about it, you’re always around. Yeah, you ask yourself out ya know, to some classy joint somewhere. The Burrito King or something. I ain’t cheap. Take yourself out for a couple of drinks, and then, maybe some provocative conversation on the way home. Then you park in front of the house. You’re smooth and you put a little nice music on. Maybe you put on like some shopping music, something that’s not too interruptive. Then you slide over real nice and you’re like ‘oh I think you have something in your eye.’ Well maybe it’s not all that romantic for you, but I get into it. Then I take myself up to the porch, and I take myself inside. Oh maybe I’ll make you a little something in a brandy snifter or something. ‘Would you like to listen to some of my back records? I got something here.’ Well usually about 230 in the morning you’ve ended up taking advantage of yourself, and there ain’t no way around that. Yeah, making a scene with a magazine. I’ll confess, I’m no different. I’m not weird about it or anything; I don’t tie myself up first. I just kinda spend a little time with myself.”

2003-04-06T16:27:00.000-04:00

thank goodness that God made weekends, because i think i would lose my sanity without them. i'll tell you though, when you're stuck in the library fretting over test after test, the weeks do go by really fast.

i hit up a peter cincotti concert this friday. i must say, it was fantastic. in a nutshell, he's a 19 year old jazz piano prodigy who just released his first cd and is on tour now. after the show, my friend teal (who is a dancer here at the good ol' univeristy at buffalo), snuck us backstage so we could meet the band. they were all really cool guys, but they were on their way down to the city for their next show though, so we didn't get to see them for too long.

while we were down there though, actors from "a chorus line" were in the dressing rooms downstairs. some of they gay guys in the show starting hitting on my friend tobey and me. when they found out that we were both straight, he said "damn teal, why you gotta bring your hot, straight friends around me when you know i can't have them?" i'll tell ya, that's one thing i really appreciate about gay guys though. if they like you, they let you know. why can't they give women a few lessons? i'd probably be much better off then, considering the fact that my ability to discern whether or not a girl likes me is about as developed as my ability to read chinese.

2003-03-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

have you ever been out, seen something (an object, and act maybe), and just think to yourself "really, what were these people thinking when they did that?" well i'm out last night with a friend of mine, checking out his old band at this bar called merlin's. now the first thing you have to understand about merlin's is that it looks like a college kid bought a bar, and put all the random paraphenalia that he collected throughout his years, painted the walls with glue, and then just threw all of this random shit on the walls. that was the essence of merlin's.

so while i'm listening to the music and taking in all the "decorations", my eyes come across an air freshener. now i'm thinking "this is a bar. who in the world would actually think that that little air freshener might come even close to battling the stench that is all too familiar to bars?" you'd need at least a thousand of those little guys to even make some kind of impact, but alas, there was only one little air freshener soldier fighting the innumerable legions of cigarette smoke armies.

another thing i noticed while i was out was a girl wearing a pair of jordache jeans. hmmm, i never realized those were making a comeback these days. i think i would rather keep them in the eighties, where they belong.

2003-03-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

i'd apologize for not writing in a week, but the fact is that it hasn't been a lack of effort that has kept me from writing, i just couldn't think of anything to write about. i'm an idiot, and i can't control that, so why apologize for it?

so rather than go without writing at all, i've decided to comment on a thought that my friend miller wrote about in his blog.
in one of his entries, he talks about how living in the communication age has given us almost up to the minute updates on the war in iraq. people are tuning in every day to find out what's been going on, effectively turning the war into the most popular reality tv show in the country. "hey honey, why don't you make some popcorn while we watch tonite's episode of war?" this could definitely be one of the worst forms of entertainment we have seen in a long time, but i think we are drawn to it nonetheless.

by the way...i love how we broadcast everything on the tv, from where we have our troops stationed, to what our war strategy is going to be. wouldn't you think that saddam hussein might get smart and tune in to some american broadcasts so he could find out what we're up to? then again, i don't think they have cable in baghdad. not anymore at least.

so in the wake of the combined scares of terrorism and chemical and biological weapons, the government has come out with a new illustrated website to help inform the public as to what to do if one becomes a victim of such attacks. well, i guess the pictures on it were up for quite a bit of interpretation, so here's a link to a website that my friend dave
sent me. nothing like a little parody to bring a smile to our faces.

2003-03-18T19:50:00.000-05:00

due to popular demand, and some prodding by my buddy miller
, i have decided to post the "jimmy g girlfriend application" on my blog. no, i'm not that conceited that i think that i can actually take applications for a girlfriend, but i did think it would be fun to see the responses. just fill it out and send it to me on instant messenger @ jimscreek8.

Name:
Nickname:
Hair color:
Eye color:
Height:
Race (yes I am an equal opportunity dater):
Birthday:
Hometown:
College:
Major:
Hobbies:
Favorite band:
Favorite song:
Favorite book:
A quote that sums up your personality:

don't be shy now!

2003-03-16T17:38:00.000-05:00

so you know the old saying that goes "whatever goes on in (fill in in the blank), stays in (fill in the blank)"? well, for our spring break trip down to myrtle beach, jack, chelsea, and i decided to forget about that. so if you're looking for any embarrassing stories that might have occurred while we were down there, we'll be more than happy to disclose any info you want. here's just a few snippets to sum up a killer week in as few words as possible:

if anyone can survive completely on pb&j, it's us
"hey look! that girl doesn't have a top on!"
i can't believe i have to wait for jack to jerk off before i can go to bed
"if you're not gonna go in the ocean, then i'm gonna throw you in" (and i did)
seeing the cast of real world las vegas
"just a friendly little cat"
"there were bathrooms? we just kept peeing in the ocean"
"watch out for those beach frogs"
"i thought i told you to tell me when i was getting a little color. i think you're a bit late"
jack: "are you bringing the football?" jim: "yeah, it makes me look manly"
stupid bungee jumping people!
"sometimes you just gotta dance with a black girl. they shake it like white girls can't"
"ah yes, if only they were hot"
two old ladies seeing me and jack in the ocean when the waves pulled our pants down
"uh oh, i think my balls just crawled back inside me"
"my penis is so small, i pee on my balls!" -jack
me to an old lady: "oh no believe me, the pleasure was all mine!!!"
"they sure take their mini golf seriously down here"
"and whatever you do jim, don't give me a sand penis"
"we named him thud because that's the sound he made when we went under the car"
jim: "jack, turn around! i feel like i'm about to get hung by the klan"
sitting at stop lights where everyone has a red light
running 4 of those red lights because we're impatient yankees
"free bj's on the day after my 21st birthday (that's today)"- chelsea
"she's good!"- me
"that girl could shake her hips like no one else i've ever seen"

that's about all i can think of for right now, but i will keep updating them as they come to me. oh, i've also decided to try a little bit of an experiment. it's called the jim gleason girlfriend application. just look me up on instant messenger @ jimscreek8 and fill out the few questions in my profile. it's just my little version of internet dating. and even if you don't like me try it out anyway just for the fun of it.

ps- caroline, i don't know who you are, but as soon as i can, i'll put some pictures of me up on the website so you can figure out if i'm a guy that you would sleep with. haha. thanks for the comments. keep 'em comin'

2003-03-09T17:04:00.000-05:00

well, in a couple of hours, i will be embarking on what will soon become known as spring break mania '03. i'm partaking in one of the great college traditions of our time: the road trip. i'm heading down to myrtle beach with my friends chelsea and jack, both of whom i'm pretty sure will try to get me to sleep with them while i'm down there. i will try my best to resist...jack that is. but in the case that i'm away from a computer for a while, i will be back in a week with tons of stuff to write about (hopefully). for now, it's off to the nude beach....

2003-03-06T21:58:00.000-05:00

girls sucks!!! i hate them!!! nah, i'm just kidding, i really don't hate them at all. as a matter of fact, i often find myself twiterpated by many of them at a time. not now though. i think i'm going to start trying to narrow the field down.

going back to my recurring theme of male-female relationships, i propose a new question that i will once again try to find the answer to. today's question is this: is it worse for a person to discount you before they get to know you, thus never really giving you a chance, or is it worse for you to get that chance and subsequently get rejected? personally, i think that the latter is the tougher to deal with. think of it this way...if you make an attempt to get to know a potential love interest, and he or she just blows you off, they aren't so much rejecting you as they are your potential. the fact that they don't know what you are in all your glory (or all your misery as the case may be), means that they couldn't have turned you down, just the facade of you. now, on the other hand, if you get to develop some sort of beginning relationship with said person and then get rejected, well that just cuts a bit deeper. that means that they've seen into you and still are telling you that they want nothing to do with you. it all comes down to whether they reject you, or what they think you could be. i'll take the second one because, hey, chances are they're probably wrong about me anyway, so screw them and the horse they rode in on.

on a similar note, my friend thi wants to know why a guy just can't tell a girl flat out that he isn't interested in her "that way". i would gladly turn the question the other way too.

but if i'm going to talk about thi, i'd rather tell you a different story than divulge on more theory. so thi and i are in a club one night when we decide it would be a good idea to see what the cocktail waitresses thought of me. so i come up with the brilliant plan to have thi pull her over the next time she came near us, and ask her if she should go home with me that night. so thi does it, the waitress looks me up and down and says "yeah, i would. he's really cute." well i'm disheartened to say that thi did not come home with me that night, despite the advice of a cocktail waitress who was clearly wise beyond her years. it was worth a good laugh though.

2003-02-27T23:44:00.000-05:00

could you be ugly?

so a guy goes up to the cashier at a supermarket. on the conveyer belt he puts some shaving cream, razors, a tv guide, a six pack of beer and a shitload of tv dinners. the girl working the register looks at him and says, "oh, so you must be single". the guy replies, "yes how could you tell?" to which the girl replies "'cause you're FUCKIN' UGLY!"

haha

ok, so earlier in the week, i promised everyone a rant on ugly people, and i just thought that was a good way to start it off. now i'll get to my own thoughts though.

every day i wake up in the morning, take my shower, get dressed, and do my hair. then i look in the mirror to check out my look for the day and usually think to myself "boy i'm looking extra sexy today" or "you know what, im lookin pretty money". then i head out the door to face my day and the world. my question here is this: what do ugly people think when they look in the mirror right before they leave the house? my guess is that they don't look at themselves and say "aw shit, i'm pretty damn ugly. i'd better do the world a favor and stay inside all day. i'll even put a paper bag over my head when the pizza guy comes." no, i think that they're just like the rest of us and think that they did a pretty good job of putting themselves together that day, and are ready to face the world. in that case then, if ugly people say that, and i say that as well, could i be ugly too and no one is telling me about it? i think that is very much a possibility. maybe i'm just ugly and i don't know it!!! boy, i hope someone tells me if i am so i can take care of that.

could you be ugly too?

2003-02-24T08:28:00.000-05:00

ok, let's start off with a barrage of questions this morning...

so i saw the girl last night that had been ignoring me all weekend. how come all it takes is for her to look at me and smile for me to totally forget everything? do girls realize the power that they have this power over us? yeah, they do. i'm sure of it. but does the fact that i fall for it every time make me romantic or pathetic? your guess is as good as mine.

2003-02-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

sorry about any lack of updates lately. i've just spent the last couple of days feeling rather uninspired about much of anything. and there's definitely a difference between not being inspired and being uninspired....and i've been uninspired. those who know me can probably guess why, and they'll also know that it's all just part of the cycle that i go through every so often, and that it'll be all good in a couple of days.

so while i spent my weekend getting ignored by this girl i was trying to get to know a little better, i did have a little light bulb go on in my head that sparked some further thought. i have exactly 200 people on my buddy list. i know this because my computer tells me that i'm over the limit every time i try to add another person. then i start to think about it and realize that out of those 200 buddies, i only talk to about ten percent of them. as a matter of fact, i have a lot of people on my buddy list that i don't even know why they're on there, because i sit around hoping that they never im me. that gets me thinking about how many people have me on their buddy lists just dreading the times when i decide that i want to talk to them. chances are that if you're reading this, then it isn't you. but if it does apply to you, don't worry, i think i have a pretty good idea of who you are, and i will try to refrain from talking to you unless under the most dire of circumstances, and will never expect an actual response from you. don't worry, it's not all that disappointing.

ok, sorry about that little rant there, but i needed something to blog about and that was what happened to be on my mind.

meanwhile, back at the ranch, i'm forming a little diatribe about ugly people that, for some reason or another, was sparked by this little blog session of mine, but i will save that for next time. good night y'all.

2003-02-17T22:48:00.000-05:00

someone upstairs must like me, because my life seems to be going pretty damn good right now. chalk up another good weekend for the life of jim gleason.

friday was valentine's day, and even though i never have anyone to celebrate with, i still like to hold onto the concept of it in the hopes that one day i will have someone to share it with. i really can't stand all this "singles awareness day" crap, or the people who are bitter because someone else has a signifcant other and they don't. i'm happy for those people who do. i got way too many other things to worry about than who other than me is in love, and why should i even be mad about that? good for them!

saturday we had out dental school semi-formal, and it was a blast. picture 200 wannabe dentists in a ballroom that is equipped with an open bar, and you'll get an idea of how fun it was. personally i didn't have a drop of alcohol that night, but i chose the ever-popular shirley temple as my drink of choice for the night. who the hell needs alcohol when ya got sugar? after about 7 of them, and a couple trips to the little boy's room, i was jacked up on a sugar high that lasted the rest of the night. some people wouldn't even believe me that i was sober, because i was bouncing all around the room. i think the bartender must have thought i was gay by the end of the night though, because i was hanging out with my friend drew a lot that night, and both of our sober asses kept ordering these shirley temples, one after another. does that mean that homosexuals drink shirley temples? i don't know, but i sure felt stupid ordering them.

i also managed to develop a new pickup line for myself that night. i saw the "hot 4th year girl" (read "older woman" or "sugar momma") there, and decided that it would be my mission for the night to dance with her. so when a slow dance came on, i went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance with me. then i introduced myself and she said "oh don't worry, i KNOW who you are!". i quickly came back with "oh, well i didn't know if you would or not. i mean, i'm just a lowly 1st year, although i am a rock star on the side." hell yeah i'm a rock star! i was dancing with one of the hottest girls in the room! damn straight i'm a rock star! i think i'm going to start throwing that in every time i talk to a girl now.

so like i said, life is going pretty damn good for me right now. the only thing that could make it better would probably be a nice girl to share it with. yeah, that's what i need, a nice girl....and maybe a steak hoagie from jim's steakout :)

2003-02-10T17:16:00.000-05:00

what a weekend! if it is possible for me to drop all ambitions to succeed at an academic career and put them on the back burner in favor of partying till i fell over, then this weekend was as close as i've ever come i think. it was a pure blast though, and if i tried to recount every detail i'm sure i could go on forever, so i'm going to save you that torture.

i hit up the theatre on saturday to see the movie adaptation.
what else can i say about it but it was an excellent and refreshing film. i can't even begin to tell you what it's about, but i would highly reccommend it to anybody out there. just the way that it was written, i give charlie and donald kaufman mad props for writing themselves into their own script, and for taking on so many challenges to portray the way the characters thought.

after the movie i went to a couple of parties, when i encountered another one of the great mysteries of our day. i can honestly use a woman's opinion on this too, because it makes no sense to me at all. so i head out these various parties and bars, wearing whatever it was that i happened to be wearing that day, not having shaved, wearing my dorky-ass glasses, and sporting a black eye that makes it look like im wearing makeup on my right eye. yet, in all my various stages of unattractiveness, i had more girls come up to me and show interest than any time when i have gone out of my way to look good. and this isn't a one time thing either. whenever i put absolutely no effort into the way i look, i end up having more success with the ladies. well that got me thinking that maybe i could beat the system. if i put all my effort into making it look like i didn't put any effort into myself, maybe i could take control of the situation. i found out that doesn't work though; girls seem to be able to tell for some reason. i think it stems from the same sense that makes them call you up the very moment that you've actually forgotten about them. i don't know quite what it is, but i think women somehow developed a sixth sense that just happened to pass men by. must be an x chromosome thing.

like i said, i was really wondering this, so i put it out to my female audience for a possible explanation. i'll leave it at that for now though. i gotta go to the salvation army and pick myself up an old sweatsuit, a la 1987 that i can wear out this weekend. maybe that way i can meet my future wife.

2003-02-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

equality of the sexes

ok, so you might start to wonder what brought on this little dissertation i'm about to proceed with. well, let me just preface it with this...."so i was at this pimps and 'hos party last night, when i met a girl who really knew what was going on...."

as much as we often like to think of ourselves as a rather progressive society, there is no way that we will ever see equality of the sexes. not only that, but i don't think that women will ever be equal to men, and men will never be equal to women. wanna hear the kicker now? i think it comes from the fact that we never want to see the sexes be equal. let me proceed....

i think it's pretty much a given that men and women can never be complete equals. there will always be certain things that women will always be able to do better than men, and things that men will always be able to do better than women. for instance, men's bodies have been evolutionarily selected to be able to perform straight up brute activities. most women will never be able to lift/carry/move as much weight as most men can. on the other hand, from my visit to the dance club the other night, it became extremely clear to me that men are eons behind women when it comes to moving out bodies with any semblance of rhythm. on the whole though, i think that if you were to average a man and a woman's collective abilities, they would come out equal. we were just made to complement each other, rather than rival each other as equals.

and as far as us not wanting true equality...i think that's pretty accurate too. women will always expect some degree of chivalry from men, as they should. women will never fight on the front lines of a war and men will never have to deal with childbirth or having a period.

so back to this girl that i met last night. now, one thing i know is that when i talk to a lot of my girl friends, they always say that they will rarely, if ever, initiate a relationship with a guy, because that's the guys job. well, my response to them is this: if it's going to have to be the guys job to ask the girl out, then it has to be the girls job to put out the vibe for the guy to pick up on, so we don't think we're going to get rejected.....and that's exactly what this girl did. she knew exactly how to play the game right. she put out the vibe for me, and i knew that i had nothing to fear by approaching her. i still initiated everything, but it was so much easier to do because she played the game right. now if we can only get all the guys and girls to learn the rules of engagement, maybe finally we can get a few more people into relationships.....or at least get them laid.

2003-02-01T02:40:00.000-05:00

i am a freakin' rock star, and it feels so good!!! the dental school had their annual talent show tonite, and i completely rocked the house, along with my partner in crime, dave calos. we took buffalo for a short trip on the soul train with a little "what's goin' on?" by marvin gaye. aw man did we really get the crowd going. we had girls coming up to us after the show telling us that they cried because we were so good.

ok, i suppose that's enough tooting of my own horn, i was just very very happy tonite to get to play out, and in such a great venue too. the sound in the mainstage theatre was awesome, and i've never played in front of so many people before. thanks to everyone who came out and supported us!

so, to celebrate our performance, we decided to go out to the marriot and hit up the night club there. once again, i was reminded of the reasons why i don't like going to bars and clubs to pick up girls. i'm sure i'm not giving a lot of these girls enough credit, but when i see a girl all hooched up, i just can't put that much stock into her. compile that with the extra loud music that makes talking impossible, and what you're left with is just a bunch of guys and girls looking for a bit of eye candy that they can go up to and rub their pelvises against. maybe i'm getting old, but that just doesn't do it for me anymore...most of the time. the rest of the time, i enjoy a good freak dance as much as the next guy. i mean, hey, i'm still a guy at heart, just one who likes to think too much on occasion.

2003-01-30T23:47:00.000-05:00

oh my gosh! i don't think i could possibly get any more exhausted than i am right now. my eyes are burning beyond belief, just dying for me to close them and go to sleep. i stayed up way too late last night studying for a test that i probably could have done just as well for if i stopped studying for it on monday or tuesday. now i'm up writing protests for the questions that i got wrong in hopes that my professors will realize that a simple class in english syntax would work wonders for them, and keep their students from getting so confused.

so did anyone catch that state of the union address the other day? it kinda scares me that dubya says its a matter of "weeks, not months" that we'll be going to war with iraq. with all this hoopla around an impending war, i'm kinda getting skeptical about what our president's motives are. i was reading the washington post the day after it, and they claim that both bush's domestic and foreign policies are at an all-time low since september 11th. also, seven out of ten americans would prefer to give u.n. inspectors more time rather than declaring war on iraq. count me in on that group. a lot of people think that good ole george is trying to make this into a personal vendetta to finish off what his father didn't. i think i can give him more credit than that, but at a time when an overwhelming majority of citizens say that they think the economy is very unhealthy, i think that war would bring an incredible economic boost to our country. not to mention that it would probably cause a surge in nationalism as well. i'd say it's all just a strategic political move to help in the next election, while getting a few of our boys killed in the process. ah well, we're all expendable aren't we?

2003-01-19T13:35:00.000-05:00

ah, what a great day so far. i slept til noon today because i was out til about 4 in the morning in rochester all night at a candid daydream concert. if anyone gets the chance to check them out, i would highly advise it. they're an awesome band that you're guaranteed to like.

so i'm not sure when it happened, but apparently i decided that it was my mission to educate the world...especially in matters of the heart and the psyche. perhaps it's my complete failure of a love life, but i figured that maybe i can make other people's lives better while i'm searching how to do the same for myself. during my quest though, it has become incredibly clear to me that guys and girls are so completely far away from figuring each other out, that it's a surprise that anyone is getting together to make babies these days. so i stole this link from my friend carissa's profile and decided to share it with all the guys out there. it's a list of 50 things guys should know about girls. i don't know who made it up, but whoever this chick is, i think she did a pretty damn good job of it in my humble opinion.

and, as usual, it's never my intention to leave all my ladies out there in the cold, so im appending a considerably shorter list that i compiled myself a couple years ago.

Things Girls Should Know About Guys

1. Girls look ten times better when they’re just being their normal selves. Sure, hooched up girls may look good for about 15 minutes, but that wears off fast, REALLY fast.

2. Girls look ten times worse when they’re dressed like slobs. We don’t mean to create a double standard, but girls make worse slobs than guys do.

3. We want you to get dolled up for us. We’re gonna think that you’re just as pretty even if you don’t, but we like knowing that you care for us enough to put in a little effort for us.

4. We are different when we are around our friends. It’s just our time to let loose. As long as we’re not insulting you, just accept it.

5. We’re tired of always having to be the aggressors. Having a girl take the lead sometimes would be really nice.

6. Hint: When you think that you’re being totally obvious, we are completely oblivious. If you want us to know something, just tell us.

7. We are insecure about our bodies just like you are.

8. We want you to tell us that we look good too. Just don’t always use words like: cute, adorable, etc.

9. If you feel that a guy might like you in any way, don’t ever use the phrases “nice guy” or “such a good friend” around him.

10. a) Guys have feelings too. We just don’t like to express them, so don’t assume they aren’t there.

b) Don’t tell your girlfriends everything we say or do, and we just might start telling you more.

11. Guys accept that every girl is a bitch once in a while. Just don’t deny it, because that makes you look like a bitch, which I might add, is a very unattractive quality.

12. Whenever we hear a girl talk about another girl behind her back, we only think of one thing: JEALOUSY!

13. Stop yelling at us for ogling at other girls. When was the last time you looked at Brad Pitt and said “Ewww, yucky”?

so now i put it in my audience's hands. please, if you have any you want to add to the lists, just click the little "comment" button just a little bit below here on the screen and send them to me. i think it'll be interesting to see what we can figure out, and maybe, just maybe, our combined efforts can help at least one person out there figure out what the hell is going on out there. God knows it isn't me, eh?

2003-01-14T22:57:00.000-05:00

today's public service announcement comes to us care of angela franco. not that i think it's completely accurate, but here's angela's little contribution to my beloved weblog.

so with that in mind, i recall a conversation i had with my friend dave today. i was telling him how women are definitely the gatekeepers of sex. it's true, sex is the single most powerful tool that women can hold over men's heads. any time a woman wants to have sex, she can always find a guy who is ready and willing, right?

but even if we buy into this image that all guys have such a cavalier attitude toward sex (which i will quickly debunk for my female audience out there), dave and i questioned whether or not this attitude would persist if it were men who carried the babies. i'm guessing we might be just a little more careful, eh? but then i started to think about this whole arrangement. maybe the only reason that men have developed this attitude is because they can. forget all the "hunter" and "gatherer" stuff, or the "sewing your wild oats", i think that if women weren't the ones having babies, they probably would have developed into the same exact pattern that men have. yeah, that sounds about right to me.

2003-01-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

would you like little s&m with that meal?

the universe is mysterious and i'm a curious man. that is my explanation for why i come up with all the random ephiphanies that i have. take today for example. i'm contemplating the idea of the blt, when i start to wonder why we don't refer to more of our foods by their abbreviations. besides blt's and pb&j, we take the long way around and make ourselves say all the words. i think it would be much more interesting if we just started referring to things by their abbreviations. say i wanted to invite someone over for some spaghetti and meatballs. all i would have to say is "hey natalie, do you wanna come over for a little s&m?" then she would come over and i would answer the door and wonder why she showed up in her knee-high boots, black leather booty shorts, and carrying a whip. that'd be way better is she just showed up normally right? i mean, there's an element of surprise to the former, and i suppose that it's more practical anyway. how many white shirts have you ruined by getting spaghetti sauce on them? on the contrary, i'm sure that a little sauce would wipe off quite nicely from a leather bra, don't you think?

2003-01-01T19:35:00.000-05:00

so i'm shopping in the mall today, and there are tons of little calendar kiosks all over the place. it seems everyone has a calendar these days. there's the typical babe and beefcake calendars, but do you know what the top selling calendar of the year is? it's called "they misunderestimated me". it's a calendar with a different stupid saying from george w. bush for every day of the year. the guy hasn't even been in office two years, so that means he's averages saying something really stupid less than every other day! how incredible is that? at least it reminds me about what i love about america. i have the right to freely criticize our president as much as i would like, and no one can do anything to me about it. sadly, we also have the right to put an idiot like that in the white house anyway. oh well, like the french say: c'est la vie.

best joke heard so far in the new year

dan: hey jim, how many a-d-d stricken kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
jim: i don't know dan, how many?
dan: wanna go ride bikes?

2002-12-29T13:57:00.000-05:00

some people say that once, you leave, you can never go home again. well, that's not been the case with my life. i'm just finishing up a nice weekend back in the big u (utica, ny), and it's been great. you'd think that i was a rock star by the way people treat me around here. i guess if you only show your face about once or twice a year, people tend to forget about all the bad things that you've done, and only remember the good stuff.

so anyway, i was out till about 3 last night watching one of my favorite bands, miller's mills, play at a bar up in rome. while i was there, i remembered reason number 569 why i like giving brotherly advice to my siblings. my brother dan is starting to look at colleges now, and once you get past all of the hype about getting accepted, the best piece of advice i could give to him was never go to a bar to pick up girls. first of all, chances are that the music is going to be so deafening that the chances of having any coherent conversation proceed toward zero. secondly, i told him that if you meet a girl at a bar, chances are that there aren't going to be many times that you're going to see her looking any better than she did that night. i think that the most beautiful girls are the ones who's beauty comes through even when they're at their worst. so i say that the best time to meet a girl is when she's walking around in her sweatpants and sports bra, with her hair pulled back, and no makeup on. if you think that she's gorgeous then, then you're set for life my friend. forget the bars and clubs, that's how i want to meet my girl.

2002-12-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

so it's Christmas time again, and once again, i can't figure out what the hell i ever did to have a life as good as the one that i have. granted, those who know me know that i like to bitch and moan a lot, but it's never because i'm unappreciative for what i have. i guess i've just become so used to the life i live, that i've committed what should be treated as a cardinal sin in this world...taking the things most important to you for granted. now, i don't think i'm a complete and total ingrate; i thank God every night for what he has given me, and tell him that i know that there is no way that i could give back to Him anywhere near the amount that He has given me, but i'll still try anyway. my sin lies more with the people in my life than the one who put them there.

i've got a great family who backs me up in everything i do. i have friends who act as my family when my real family can't be there. not a day goes by when i stop loving a single one of them, but i hardly ever say it to any of them. sorry to everyone for that. i didn't mean for it to happen, but in the midst of an otherwise busy life, i guess i just hoped that you knew it.

ya know, i met a girl in my class named kyung from korea. when i asked her how to say i love you in korean, she wouldn't tell me because she says that that kind of thing is understood in her country. apparently they go with the "actions speak louder than words" philosophy. well, as much as i would like to agree with that most of the time, i think there are times when your actions don't cut it, and people need to be told how you feel.

so if there was any thought to the contrary before, i just wanted to let all y'all know that i appreciate every single one of you, for all the various roles that you play in my life. without even one of you, i would not be complete, and would not be who i am today. thanks for putting up with me all this time.

Merry Christmas!

2002-12-19T00:45:00.000-05:00

after being scolded by my buddy miller about not updating my blog often enough, i've decided that sleep can wait for a bit while i take some time to put down some of these thoughts that have somehow penetrated my brain amidst all the studying that i've been doing.

now, i'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but this just happened to be thrown my way. i was sitting in my room studying the other day when i overheard my roommate talking to someone about the tragic death of a girl on campus that he knew. as it is, when it comes to someone dying, there's really not a whole lot that you can say to properly put the situation into perspective, but we tend to resort to a lot a of cliche. what i heard my roommate say was that this girl's father "wasn't doing so good, but her mom was actually taking it pretty well." my question is though, is there really any way that you can take someone's death "well", let alone, should there even be a way to do it? when it comes down to it, i don't think you really can deal with someone's death "well", but maybe we can take it "not as horribly as is humanly possible". i know it sounds kind of weird, but it's like we're forced to create a continuum of emotion where there is no positive aspect, but we still try to find a way to express the concept of "less bad".

so anyway, in the process of celebrating the 18 years that this girl did get to spend on this earth, i witnessed a lot of people get smacked in the face with the realization that our everyday trial and tribulations aren't as important as we once thought, and that our humanity is valuable beyond measure. why does it take something so tragic for people to be able to see this? boy, i wish i could find a way to make people see how much they have without having to take it away from them first.

"and what if, you ask, you go to his grave after all these years, and still break down?
i say you'll never forget the fragrance of flowers, when they can't express speeches"

2002-12-09T11:11:00.000-05:00

you know whenever someone forewarns you about what they're going to say, that whatever they have to say is not going to be good. in that case then, i'm warning you as to what i'm going to say next, not because i think there's anything wrong with it, but because it is a very sensitive issue. with that said, i think that one day, september 11th will be just an ordinary day. no cause for national broadcasts, no nationwide media coverage, no presedential memorial services....just another monday, tuesday, wednesday, etc.

so what got me thinking about this. well today is december 9th, which means that saturday was the 61st anniversary of the attack on pearl harbor. not once did i see anything about it in the newspaper, on tv, or on the internet. for the most part, i think that most people, especially of our generation, forgot about it completely. hell, i would have even forgotten about it if i didn't associate my friend's birthday with it.

speaking of mass terror, does anybody know the dates that the oklahoma city bombing or columbine took place? call me ignorant if you do know, but if you don't then you can join me in the penalty box.

i'm not trying to put down the horrible tragedy that happened on september 11th, but my point is that i think that none of these events can really be classified as any worse than the others. it would be an injustice to the people who lost their lives if we were to say that any one of these days deserves to be remembered more than the others. so just like pearl harbor, oklahoma city, columbine, and countless other senseless acts of violence throughout our history, i think that, as much as the public would like to think to the contrary, september 11th will probably just become another day that lives on in the history textbooks and the hearts of a few people who can keep the true significance of that day close to their hearts.

2002-12-04T20:27:00.000-05:00

well, it's about time for finals, which means that i'll be beating up on myself for the next two and a half weeks, all the while claiming that im going to fail out of dental school. soooooo, if you hear me rambling for a while, it's just because i got too much running through my head and some happened to spill out.

so since i figured a lot of people might be getting down on themselves this time of year, i dug up this little passage that a french artist named robert henri wrote when he was in college. sometimes all it takes is a little perspective to help clarify things.

"all things change according to the state we are in. nothing is fixed. i lived once in the top of a house, in a little room, in paris. i was a student. my place was a romance. it was a mansard room and it had a small square window that looked out over housetops, pink chimney pots. i could see l'institut, the pantheon, and the tour saint jacuques. the tiles on the floor were red and some of them were broken and got out of place. there was a little stove, a wash basin, a pitcher, piles of my studies. some hung on the wall, others accumulated dust on their backs. my bed was a cot. it was a wonderful place. i cooked two meals and ate dinner outside. i used to keep the camembert out of the window on the mansard roof between meals, and i made fine coffee, and made much of eggs and macaroni. i studied and thought, made compositions, wrote letters home full of hope of some day being an artist."

"it was wonderful. but days came when hopes looked black and my art student's paradies was turned into a dirty little room with broken tiles, ashes fell from the stove, it was all hopelessly poor, i was tired of camembert and eggs and macaroni, and there wasn't a shade of significance in those delicate little chimney pots, or the panteon, the institut or even the tour saint jacques."

whether it's art, dentistry, engineering, political science, a full time job, or raising the kids at home, we're all going through the same shit, and we're all in this together.

2002-12-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

so i have to admit to it....i'm a hard and fast believer of the three day rule. i get a girl's number, i count three days from that day, and that's the day that i call her. sounds good enough to me right?

well, it seems to me that a lot of girls think that the three day rule is stupid. "if you like the girl why not just call her the next day?" they say. well, for all those people out there who dont understand the purpose of the three day rule, i'm here to explain it to you.

see, no matter how much you want to call a girl as soon as possible, a man must resist every urge to do so. if you do, you're bound to come off as either desperate or a pushover. ever seen swingers? see what happens!

on some occasions, it is ok to call after only two days. suppose you get a girl's number on a friday and are supposed to go out with her before the weekend is up. in that instance, it is ok to call on sunday, but never on saturday!

three days just happens to be the perfect amount of time to leave in between the acquiring of the phone number, and the first call. that way, you dont come off as a desperate fool (although you probably are), and you keep her wondering just a little bit if you're actually going to call. it's a little thing called anticipation. it's also important that you don't let too much time go by before calling either because then you make the girl feel like she was not important enough to remember calling in the first place, and you just happened to find her number when you were cleaning out your wallet.

2002-11-22T20:46:00.000-05:00

Just working on getting this thing up. I'm no webmaster, but I'm working on it, eh?